Tinder, meanwhile, claims to have finally solved the problem of men lying about their height on the dating app, witha new height verification feture they promise is coming soon. Men are instructed to post a picture of themselves in front of any commercial building. From this, Tinder promises to calculate your true height and give you a verification badge on your profile.
The Daily Express reported that Britain may face a permanent exit from the Eurovision song contest, due to a ruling by L’Institute de Eurovision Song. A spokesperson is quoted as saying “It is unfortunate for British music fans, but we have a duty to protect the performers and music fans from other member states.”
The Telegraph suggested that parliament was reviving an Oliver Cromwell-era statute prohibit April Fool jokes, for fear they would spark panic-buying. The paper wrote: “The statute from 1653 states that the issuing of false reports is strictly prohibited and punishable by the splitting of an offender’s ribs.” A statute that would possibly be useful all year round.
The Brexit jokes crossed international boundaries, too, with Malta Today reporting there were moves torevoke the George Cross medal awarded to Malta by King George VI in 1942.
The Sun, meanwhile, claimed there would be a Royal Mint collection of coin designs based on emojis , including a poo emoji 50p, while the Daily Star reckons we’ll now be able to get beer on the NHS. Apparently “Guinness is good for you” after all.
The Times reports that dog owners can now get drones to do walkies for them. The devices would also be able to pick up and bin any dog mess. There had, apparently, been some mishaps with the prototypes, and reports that an excited Yorkshire Terrier was seen hovering over Gatwick before Christmas were left unconfirmed.
Lego & McDonalds
It is funny how there are some proposed April fool products that instantly make you scream: “Yes, I want that!”
FINALLY! 🙌 pic.twitter.com/v89REJTLXi
— McDonald's UK (@McDonaldsUK) March 31, 2019